5 days, 21 hours, 20 minutes… so my quitter app tells.
According to my app I have also saved £63.02. I should be laughing my way to the shops by now, instead I am doing everything in my power not to think about smoking…though thinking about it…sitting writing a whole post on the subject may not be the most sensible way to stop obsessing about it.
2 years ago I quit for a week, I do not remember why I restarted but the reason was probably not very interesting – nor worth another 2 years of poisoning my body.
I saw my lovely, wonderful therapist today ( be prepared to hear more about how she has impacted my life in other posts…. you have been warned) and she mentioned that I seemed different. Well I happen to agree, I feel different, I feel calmer, more level headed, happier, and today it happened I had no money in my purse, now, please understand in the past when I had no money in my purse I would be scrabbling around, emptying out charity boxes, digging deep in to the sofa ( nope…. its a myth that you will find £10000000000 down the back of a sofa) rattaling my daughters money box (disgraceful I know) searching through my husbands pockets (happily that is the only reason I would ever need to search his pockets) to try and find that £10.70 I needed to buy a packet of what my hubby so aptly describes as cancer sticks.
So that’s the good side of it, the dark, gloomy, climb the walls, watch me through your fingers in fright, side of it is , frankly horrendous.
Here, to fire up your imagination is a little synopsis of what it is like to quit smoking:
- All pervading, all invading constant thoughts of cigarettes
- Anger, the kind that everyone in your immediate and not so immediate surroundings know about…. yup the neighbours may call the police, social services, men in white coats due to the screaming they will hear coming from you.
- More coughing
There you go, just a few side effects…but I have realised, smoking is a CON!! A huge CON which trillions of people have fallen for…
Tobacco companies will have you believe smoking is so many things, cool.. hmmm that went out the window when the TV ads with the cute cowboys on horses smoking were banned!
Relaxing, nope… it may feel relaxing, but really you are just anxious, anxious about when the next one will come, anxious about how you can afford it, anxious if you are out with friends …thinking about how and when you can smoke next, Not being able to enjoy Shabbat or Chagim.
So, some advice when trying to encourage someone who has just given up, don’t say “oh I gave up chocolate a few weeks back so know what you are going through”…YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GIVING UP SMOKING IS LIKE ( that’s me shouting at you) do… keep encouraging, do bring gifts..sweets, chocolates, more sweets, more chocolate. Do understand that when we are yelling at you, we are really yelling at the cigarette monster in our heads.
So, here you have it, my first blog post. Its taken me hours to work out how to set up the thing, but not very long to write… I hope you have enjoyed it. Please forward to family, friends, colleges, the postman, random strangers, and please do comment so I don’t feel like a sado because no one has read my blog!
I will…all being well, be back tonight, when I want to talk about guests for Shabbat vs saving money and not having guests.
Hugs and kisses